(As found on an Internet email forum list)
Note from RPB: Yes, I realize this has no scripture in it, and I suppose it is a bit on the emotional side, but it contains a valuable lesson that I hope you will appreciate. Suggestion: Be sure to have a Kleenex™ box close at hand; you might need it! I have slightly edited this article to remove hackneyed, email-consistent notations, and for readability.
I just wanted to write about something that happened last nite.
I have the privilege of teaching in a low income elementary school. Not only does it give me some opportunities to help folks, but it really keeps my own life in perspective, especially when I start feeling sorry for myself.
This year, I have a girl in my 4th grade class that I requested they give me. I had her sister 5 years ago. The family is really messed up - the mother is a real "partyer" and the kids are brushed aside. Their clothes don't match and are seldom clean. They need bras and no one at home cares to tell them. The students in school all have a silent code that they degrade and ignore these kids. It is so odd: A new student comes in and before the day is out, he knows how to treat this little girl.
Alicia is fat, she's taller than the rest and has very poor manners. However, she has the biggest heart of any child that age I have never known. Although the other kids make fun of her and no one wants to sit by her, she is always looking out for them. She reminds to do something for one of them or brings a book she wants me to read to the class.
In writing, I am working on teaching them to share their thoughts and feelings through their words. We did a little paragraph about how much fun it is to spend time with a best friend. The class got busy writing and she just sat there, staring into space. She does that a lot. I gripe at her a lot. This was no exception. She turned to me and said, "Ms. Brock - I have never had a friend."
Her little eyes were filled with tears. I asked her about a time she might have gone to the mall with her older sisters? She said they had never taken her. I couldn't imagine a life where you did not have one special friend-type moment to write about.
My daughter Robin, has had some similar times like that. She was born with a birthmark nearly covering the left side of her face. She suffers with people making fun of her, but worse is their pushing her aside; In her own words, "they don't even notice I am there." Luckily for Robin, she has an outgoing personality and has found ways to cope, where Alicia just sinks further inside herself.
Alicia's birthday was a few days ago. I had them write a poem in class on thoughts and feelings again, and I figured Alicia would write about the new kitten her mom got her. She was so excited about it. However, when she handed in the poem, and I began to type it for her, I found it was of a very different nature. She wrote <in part> "Oh, no. How could he do it? I can't believe it. He forgot my birthday. My tears are choking me. I am so sad. This isn't like him usually. I guess I can understand that he's like my grandpa - forgetting all the time."
Man, y'all! I almost couldn't take it! Her family is all she has and now even her divorced dad had even forgotten her. I really wanted this sweet little girl to have something so she could write a paragraph about 'a special time.' Well, Robin and I picked her up last night. While driving, she was pointing out places in my car someone could hide from the police.
We took her to Baybrook Mall. She had never been to a mall in her life (can you imagine?)! She did not know what an ATM machine was. We took her to Build-a-Bear - where you pick out a flat, unstuffed body of a bear - you get to stuff him, put a felt heart in him (one you've kissed for love and rubbed on your head to make him smart) and then sew him shut and dress him. I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to see her dressing the bear - trying to choose the right outfit out of about 30 gorgeous choices and worrying that it was costing too much. Most kids today wouldn't even have cared.
Then, when we went out to dinner (I figured everyone had been to Bennigans!), she didn't want to leave the bear in the car. She got a hamburger she couldn't even open her mouth wide enough to eat. While we ate and Alicia compared the restaurant to the school cafeteria (I guess that's the only "eating out" she does), I got to listen to Robin tell her about how kids don't take time to get to know kids like them - kids who are different, but are really cool on the inside. Alicia said, "But, I'm the nerd of the school."
Of course, the mother in me came out and said, "No you aren't." But in her eyes she is - that is not what she needed to hear. Robin accepted it at face value and told her how she needs to ignore them and find ways to cope. Robin learned to laugh; just laugh it off and go on when they say things like that. Listening to those two little girls talk about coping as outcasts made me want to cry, but it also made me so happy they were having the opportunity to share.
There are times I think of changing schools. I'd like a school where the library is really nice and there is a lot of technology. A school where the teacher's lounge isn't a cramped set of tables around a Coke™ machine, where our rooms are new and bright and where kids didn't have to call the police because Dad is beating up Mom. . Again, a place with children who always get to eat breakfast and who aren't awakened by gun shots nearly every night. A place where it isn't so matter of fact to talk about how Dad's girlfriend gave him herpes (we even had a step dad last Spring rape and murder one) on her birthday. Their problems are just too much to bear.
Many of the teachers are not Christians. They teach, and in some cases they make fun of the kids (or at best they pity them) and then they go home to their comfortable, safe lives. If it weren't for Christians, where would these kids be?
Think of the multitudes of families who are living this life without anyone who cares? It scares me to think that if I hadn't taken this particular job, I wouldn't know the reality of folks like this. And there are so many of them, everywhere. There are some on this list who have helped me in the past, financially and in other ways.
When Christians help Christians there is a trickle down effect. I often feel down because I can't help folks in the big ways. I can't buy someone a car or fill their kitchen with food (I wish I could! I love you folks who can do that), but I can buy a bear for a little girl who doesn't have a friend. I can't tell you how that changed me, last night. I guess that's all God wants us to do, is let Him open our eyes to the "Alicia's" we all have in our lives.