In recent years, we have heard a lot about problems of sexual abuse in the Roman Catholic Church. Just this past week brought news of the death in prison at the hands of a fellow inmate, of one of the principal figures in the scandal. But, that’s just a problem in Roman Catholic churches, because they deny marriage to the priesthood, correct?
Nothing could be further from the truth!
It is true that the Catholic dogma of celibacy is an important factor in the discussion of this pandemic of sexual abuse. But only the ignorant would argue that it is the only factor at work. In reality there are a number of social and cultural matters that must be rightly understood to fully comprehend the depth of this issue, and we would do well to examine each of them in greater detail. These matters include the rampant growth of sexual perversion and its acceptance in society. Frankly, we are a sex-crazed society, and this scandal is but one evidence of that.
Another factor is the decline of familial prerogatives, those matters which were formerly held to be sacred to the family and for which parents felt personal responsibility, such as "the birds and the bees." Now, many parents are willing to surrender control of anything that seems to be difficult to the secular authorities or the system of public education, thus insuring the information their children receive is aimed at the lowest elements of understanding rather than the highest regions of responsibility and restraint. It is easier to give them condoms than to teach them abstinence, or so goes the argument. When parents surrender that prerogative, they ought not to wonder why their children are vulnerable.
Yet another factor is the increasing tendency of parents to blindly accept that certain persons in positions of authority and influence are not threats. I will tell you flatly and frankly that the position Lee and I took in raising our children is that anyone is a potential threat and we have personal experience that proves our diligence to be warranted. Furthermore, we know of specific occasions wherein children of saints have been "abused" by those who should not have been threats (I put "abused" in quotes, because that is really the wrong word. The correct word is "assaulted.").
The Bible is explicit in pointing out the validity of marriage for many reasons, one of which is "But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband" (1 Corinthians 7:2). Yet, we have all heard about perversions and assaults perpetrated by married people. Can we affirm that marriage prevents sexual assaults on young people or on the unsuspecting? Of course not.
On at least two occasions, I have followed preachers who committed adultery within the church family, immediately before my arrival. I know the effect of illicit sexual activity by those who stand in the pulpit, and I know that it is too often handled by a slap on the wrist…whereupon the offender is received back into the pulpit with few, if any, continuing consequences.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I realize that forgiveness is an important and essential part of Christianity, and that some infractions are of greater import, consequence or general knowledge than other sins. I realize that elders and churches have great autonomy in handling these matters and that forgiveness is enjoined upon us when the offender repents. But, we err greatly when we place such offenders back into the same positions of influence and opportunity to offend without due regard to the impact on the innocent or unsuspecting and without establishing principles of conduct that are without question and are not subject to negotiation. And, it is this disregard that is leaving local churches open to accusation and even judicial sanctions-legal liability, if you will.
Well, first, let me acknowledge that I cannot tell you what THE problem is, beyond saying it is a matter of sin. So, let’s dispense with the "platitudes and pollyana" of quick answers and shallow conclusions, and move on to some fundamental points that should be obvious in preventing the problem from the get-go:
For years, I have tried at every turn to avoid being alone with women of the church or even with those I am teaching, especially impressionable or vulnerable young women. It is not a matter that I cannot be trusted, nor that these women or young people cannot be trusted, but simply that it wise to avoid any appearance of evil. On several occasions I have called my wife and asked her to drop EVERYTHING and hasten to the church building (or come home) to be with me and a women who just drops in or is working at the church building.
I remember one particular occasion in which a young new Christian with some deep emotional problems, appeared at the church door and asked to talk to me. Among the first things she told me was that she was not wearing any undergarments! My wife was at the front door in 20 seconds flat--and we lived 10 blocks away! Generally speaking, brethren have absolutely no idea how important it is for a preacher to have a resource such as his wife to help him avoid these situations. And, you get her "for free," too—isn’t it a shame that’s the way we look at her?
Personally, I do not like situations where smaller children are tended, unchaperoned, by older children, such as in Bible classes or so-called "church trips." There are a lot of pressures on our children as they move out of adolescence into young adulthood; pressures that take advantage of their hormonal disarray. When that is coupled with the license of our society and the continual bombardment of their senses with every form of sexual enticement, it is to be expected that problems may arise. Notice that assertion, again:
"…it is to be expected that problems may arise."
Do you realize it is this expectation—call it forewarning—that leaves churches vulnerable, morally and legally? When we leave those in charge who are not morally, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally prepared for the task we expect of them, we place ourselves at risk of moral and legal culpability. Brethren, this must stop. We allow it to our personal and congregational peril.
(To Be Continued)